disperser 22May2023 Jokes of the week, Monday's Toons & Quotes

Monday’s Toons & Quotes — 017

The Toons are by artists who give permission to share their work. The quotes are from the original Jokes of the Week.

Toons

Quotes

The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which means leaving things inside us. —G. K. Chesterton

To the excessively fearful, the chief characteristic of power is its arbitrariness. Man had to gain enormously in confidence before he could conceive an all-powerful God who obeys his own laws. —Eric Hoffer

A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also be wrong. —Thomas Szasz

He that fails in his endeavours after wealth or power will no longer retain either honesty or courage. —Samuel Johnson

No people do so much harm as those who go about doing good. —Mandell Creighton

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. —Anonymous

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.
—George Santayana

If I have said something to hurt a man once, I shall not get the better of this by saying many things to please him. —Samuel Johnson

Life is hard, but at least it’s short. — E. J. D’Alise (circa 1980)

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5Comments

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1

oneowner on 22May2023 at 10:04 AM
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I loved the quotes but they seem to be on the serious side. You can throw in a Yogi Berra quote for good measure. “You can observe a lot by watching.”

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- 2
  
  disperser on 23May2023 at 8:44 AM
  Reply
  
  “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” —Phyllis Diller
  
  “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” —Rodney Dangerfield
  
  “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
  
  “Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.” —George Burns
  
  “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” —Nora Ephron
  
  “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
  
  “Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.” —Anonymous
  
  “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” —Rita Mae Brown
  
  “The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.” —G.K. Chesterton
  
  “Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.” —Quentin Crisp
  
  “Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.” —Leslie Nielsen
  
  “All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.” —Steve Martin, in the film Sgt. Bilko.
  
  “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” —Kurt Vonnegut
  
  “You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it.” —Anonymous
  
  “If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?” —John Cleese
  
  “When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.’”—Yogi Berra
  
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3

doesitevenmatter3 on 23May2023 at 2:35 AM
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A paperweight! YAY! HA!
The Santayana is powerful.
(((HUGS))) and hope you and Melisa have a good week!

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- 4
  
  disperser on 23May2023 at 8:49 AM
  Reply
  
  In the early days, I’ve had that experience. To be fair, it was more about finding out how things are put together . . . and then not being able to put those back together again.
  
  It’s like when you unpack something from a box. No matter how careful you are in taking note of how it was packed, it’s impossible to repack it so that it fits in the box again.
  
  We’re having an OK week so far . . . except I screwed up one of the cabinets doors I was installing, so now I have to buy a replacement. Lesson: never work on something when tired or unfocused on the task (or both). Other than that, no major boo-boo to deal with.
  
  Thanks for asking, and wishing the same for you.
  
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5

oneowner on 23May2023 at 1:15 PM
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BRAVO!!!

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