Halloween 2020

Once again, time got the better of me. Well, OK, not time . . . stuff. Stuff is always coming up and robbing me of time and, by association, the chance to complete my plans.

You see, I wanted to write something for Halloween. I even started a story . . . a buddy story of two cops, one real, one a ghost, pulling Halloween duty . . . I had written this a few days ago and then . . . stuff.

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“I hate Halloween,” Jim said and sipped his pumpkin spice latte. Seeing as he was alone in his squad car, Jim wasn’t expecting an answer, hence why he spilled half his coffee as a voice right next to his ear disagreed with him.

“Oh, it’s not so bad,” the voice said.

“Aahhgh!” Jim exclaimed, half out of surprise and a half at the scalding coffee landing uncomfortably high up on his thigh.

Recovering, he turned around, thinking someone has snuck into the back seat of the squad car, but the back seat was empty. No . . . an area of slight luminescence was floating just behind the steel lattice separating the back seat from the front.

The luminescence brightened a bit and drifted through the barrier and settled on the front seat. It kept brightening until it took a vaguely humanoid form.

“I’d asked you not to do that!” Jim said as he grabbed some napkins and tried to absorb as much of the rapidly cooling coffee from his pants and the seat. “This is going to look like I peed on myself!”

“It’s a dark uniform,” the voice answered. “No one will notice and it will give you a warm feeling.”

“Snark didn’t become you in life and is even less endearing when reaching out from the afterlife,” Jim countered.

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They were going to tackle miscreants during Halloween, but instead, they languished in my “oh, shit . . . it’s too late to finish this” pile. Maybe I’ll revive them next year.

But, I wanted to write something for Halloween, so I wrote a few One Sentence Halloween Stories (#OneSentenceHalloweenStory) . . . even posted them on Twitter with the hashtag and everything . . . and got no responses. That’s what happens when you’re on Twitter only once or twice a month; everyone ignores you.

Luckily, my readers will (hopefully) get a kick out of them . . . but first, a quick photo.

So, that’s a photo of a Halloween decoration at Home Depot superimposed on an Hawaiʻian sunset, processed with Silver Efex Pro, and modified with Topaz Impression 2.0 . . . that took all of about 5 minutes.

And now, the One Sentence Halloween Stories (#OneSentenceHalloweenStory) . . .

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Candy bowl in hand, Judy opened the door and her smile morphed into a scream . . . none of the kids wore masks.

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Judy opened the door to the linen closet and screamed . . . she’d run out of toilet paper.

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The vampire approached the unaware victim . . . but retreated in horror when the woman coughed while not wearing a mask.

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The ghost was not seen again after accidentally haunting the local sewing club on their mask-making night.

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The zombie searched in vain for brains . . . but all he saw were people not wearing masks.

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I have a favorite, of course . . . which one is yours?

That’s it. This post has ended . . . except for the stuff below.

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