Masked opportunist, lost oranges, and “L” stories voting reminder

The “L” Stories voting round is underway and we already have some action. If you want to participate, you can find links to the stories and the poll for voting for “Alphabet Challenge L-Stories” HERE.<<<Link

Clicking on the above link will take you to the post with the poll where you can cast your vote. The post also contains links to the individual stories. After voting, readers can — if so moved — spread the news about the story to friends and family. Or, not. But, we hope for yes.

So . . . masked opportunist is, of course, a raccoon <<Link . . .

During a drive through the Crab Orchard National Refuge, we spotted this young raccoon feasting on lost oranges.

The interesting thing isn’t the raccoon since this is, after all, its natural habitat.

I mean, I see them on and along roads all the time, casually laying on their side, their tongues hanging out, sleeping off a likely night of debauchery and mayhem as car wiz by them. It’s a wonder they can sleep through the noise.

No, the interesting thing is the oranges.

I mean, how did they get there? I’m pretty sure there aren’t any orange trees in the refuge, or most of Illinois, for that matter. Yes, there are some orange trees in the fall, and some red ones, too, but this is summer.

The only explanation I can think of is . . . aliens. No, not the ones from south or north of the border or from our thousands of miles of shorelines — although oranges do wash up on beaches; I saw it in the movie Local Hero,<<Link so it must be true.

By aliens, I mean beings from another galaxy, probably the Link>>Andromeda Galaxy.

Aliens? Oranges from aliens?

Yes; it happens all the time.

You see, we’re on a collision course<<Link with the Andromeda Galaxy.

Here’s what’s happening: Andromedinians drop by to visit, scouting out possible real estate to buy up (get your “For Sale” signs up early if you want in on the coming realty bonanza).

Naturally, they stop by and look at Florida since Andromedanites are mostly amphibians, and seeing as Florida will be underwater by then, it’s an ideal location for them.

They’re also attracted to orange globes because their burp sacks — the membrane that stretches and inflates when they burp — resemble an orange in color and size.

What’s that? Oh, let me explain . . . you see, they don’t have vocal cords, so they modulate the pitch and length of the burps to communicate; a language of sorts.

Really, they don’t talk much; mostly, they use portable notepads to communicate. But, boy, watch out when they get into an argument and start yelling at each other! It’s an fsm-awful noise to experience. Almost makes you want to throw up, but don’t because you might accidentally be saying something that will piss them off.

Trust me on that; I learned it the hard way.

Anyway, it turns out oranges are too acidic for them, so they toss them out. Of course, they’re flying really fast, so even though they throw them out over Tennessee, they don’t actually land until Illinois.

Smashed oranges on roads is a common sight in Illinois; almost as common as raccoons sleeping on the road.

“. . . uh . . . I don’t think they’re sleeping . . . “

Don’t listen to him . . . or, her . . . eh, it. It’s not like it’s a higher-functioning animal; he’s not even wearing a little red hat, for fsm-sake!

“Pffft!”

Anyway, that’s the story of the oranges and the opportunist raccoon. Hope you enjoyed it. There are more photos than shown above and you can see them either in the SmugMug Gallery HERE<<<Link or in the gallery below:

I know some (mighty few) people miss my long posts . . . but, if you are one of the few, there are many posts worth revisiting. THIS POST from 2015, for example. It might be especially appreciated by them experiencing a hot summer (and something you might not appreciate right now if you’re on the bottom part of the world).
That’s it. This post has ended . . . except for the stuff below.

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Note: if you are not reading this blog post at DisperserTracks.com, know that it’s copied without permission, and likely is being used by someone with nefarious intentions, like attracting you to a malware-infested website. Could be they also torture small mammals.

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About disperser

Odd guy with odd views living an odd life during odd times.
This entry was posted in Animals, Nikon D7500, Photo Post-processing, Photography Stuff, Photos and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Masked opportunist, lost oranges, and “L” stories voting reminder

  1. AnnMarie says:

    I’ve always liked the word ‘opportunity’, defined as “a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something” (that you’ve been wanting to do), unlike the definition of ‘opportunist’ “a person who exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather than being guided by consistent principles or plans”.

    According to vocabulary.com, ‘opportunity’ “comes from the Latin phrase, ob portum veniens “coming toward a port” which refers to a favorable wind blowing ships into the harbor. Think of an opportunity as something a good wind blew your way.”

    So, I’m still going to call myself an opportunist . . . because I’m the person at the harbor watching ship after ship coming in! And they all have goodies for me!

    Oh, and yes, bro . . . love those shots of The Opportunist feeding on goodies from the other kind of ships!

    Like

    • disperser says:

      I think there are multiple definitions of opportunist . . . I for one, plan to beat the raccoons to the next batch of oranges them Andromedinianites dump.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Like

    • AnnMarie says:

      Shooting the oranges as they’re falling from the sky. . . now THAT would be a great photo op!

      Like

  2. Perry Broxson says:

    I think you linked L to K…

    Sent from my iPhone

    Like

  3. oneowner says:

    Your explanation of how the orange got there, though plausible, may be incorrect. There is another theory that may have some merit. The oranges are Brundle oranges. As you know, Seth Brundle had made an invention that would transport an object, through space, to another place. That invention required 2 transport pods. Seth Jr. (his love child born in the mid-’80s) has now perfected the invention and the destination pod is no longer required due to GPS technology. It’s possible that he has been testing this device using oranges as test transport subjects. I, myself, would not eat one of these oranges. Though it may look like an orange, taste like an orange and may even make good orange juice, the molecular structure may be sufficiently different as to make the orange dangerous to eat, at least for humans. Raccoons, on the other hand, have digestive systems similar to sharks. Everyone knows sharks can eat anything and so can raccoons. At least it explains how oranges get to locations where oranges are not native.
    My brain is overheating. I must rest now.

    Liked by 2 people

    • disperser says:

      Ah, but there’s a fly in the ointment; Brundle didn’t transport as much as “swapped” a particular volume of space for another.

      Not only that, whatever he swapped merged completely and flawlessly with its new environment. If that orange was indeed transported by his device, it would be integrated with the asphalt. Ergo, Q. E. D., Dominus Nabisco, it’s unlikely this was the result of such an experiment. Besides, Brundle’s machine is fictional whereas everyone knows Andromedanians roam free among us.

      But, truly, we’ll never know.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. HA! Great story! Wonderful photos! (Maybe you could recycle the story when you get to the letter O or the letter R. ???? HA!)

    I are an alien from another planet and I don’t know any aliens that would even bother dealing with oranges. So, I think Mr. Racoon took a road trip and stole a bag of oranges off of someone’s porch. The oranges had just been delivered by Instacart. Orange you glad he didn’t steal any eggs? He might’ve thrown the eggs at you. HA.
    (((HUGS))) :-)
    PS…I had to figure out a way to use “orange” (orn…ja) in my comment. Orange you glad I did?!?!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ggreybeard says:

    Living in Oz I don’t know much about raccoons. This one seemed tame (or daring) enough to ignore you. How close did you approach?

    Like

    • disperser says:

      They are not generally friendly in the wild (and humans should never try to “befriend” them although some humans do). This one was wary of my presence, but I never got closer than 15-20 feet (used my 300mm zoom lens) and the initial contact was closer to 40-50 feet. I then moved very slowly to get to its side.

      Like

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