Project 313 – Post No. 105

I recently wrote about hats . . . out of necessity, I wear a hat when out and about (tropical sun and all that). But, what’s under most hats?

Let me answer that before I get a slew of smart-aleck answers. Hair. Well, for most people it’s hair. For some, it’s a lot of hair. For others, it’s a little. 

A lot and a little can refer to both numbers or volume. You can have a lot of hair but have low volume because you keep it short. You can have not much hair but have a lot of volume because you choose to let it grow long. If you are like me, you have a little hair kept somewhere between 1/8″ and 1/4″ in length. Some of the people I know shave their heads. I’d do it too if it was easy to do. 

Personally, I don’t see the point of letting your hair grow long. Beyond that, I think people who are going bald shouldn’t try to make up for the fact by growing what little hair they have long. There, but for the grace of some hair gel, goes another Bozo the Clown wannabe. 

I find a ponytail on an old man ridiculous stupid unattractive(you can tell most used to be hippies . . . before they sold their soul for a BMW and expensive sandals). Often, it’s a ponytail sticking out from under a hat . . . a hat hiding the fact the top of their head is bald. 

Understand, part of my revulsion is because I can’t see me sporting something like that without nearly gagging on the return of my last meal. That’s not to say that I think people shouldn’t wear their hair any way they want. Whatever you want to do with your hair, go for it . . . but, my reaction will be honest and unforced.

Where am I going with this? Let me relay something I recently read that I found full of wisdom (and, I’m paraphrasing because I didn’t save the link):
Imagine how ancient wolves would feel if they could see their direct descendant is a Pug. . . That’s how your grandfather feels when he sees your man-bun. 

That’s right . . . even worse that ponytails and Bozo-the-Clown-hair, I now suffer at the hands . . . er . . . heads of a literal sea of man buns. They are everywhere!

In stores, littering the sidewalks of Aliʻi Drive, at the gym, and *gag* in restaurants.

Here’s the interesting thing . . . Hawaiʻians and Polynesians and a few other peoples referred to as “natives” (in the good sense of the word) look natural wearing man buns. In fact, you don’t even notice it. 

Everyone else, please stop . . . or, at least, wear a hat. 

Wait . . . that’s unkind and judgmental of me. Go ahead, wear your hair any way you want . . . I’ll just carry a barf bag with me. 

And now, the photo:

If I told you this piece is about 20″ tall and made of wood . . . would you believe the price tag was $600? I almost asked the shop owner “why?” but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep my composure and would surely either let go of a derisive snort or make some wise-crack comment. Honest, I don’t care if Samuel Clemens carved it himself while visiting the Sandwich Islands . . . I can’t see blowing $600 on that. 

In case you’re wondering if I misread it and it was actually $6.00 . . . Nope! It said $600.00 on the tag. 

On a more serious note, we should all stop and consider the kind of problems “the others” face . . . As a middle-class white male, I have a difficult time imagining the problems faced by them not like me . . . 

Thank goodness Joe Martin is here to remind me. 

Note: some will find the above insensitive toward the plight of lycanthropes. I mean them no disrespect; had I found a joke about any of the other “others” (vampires, zombies, undead, people wearing man-buns) I’d have used it instead of the above. 

Note 2: just to be clear, I consider the term “others” as currently used as an affront to the idea we’re all humans and all in the same basket traveling on the path to the same warm place. Stop thinking of people as “others” and start thinking about people in terms of “us” and “we”.

People seem to respond well to my Gecko doodle . . . so much so that I had an idea for a theme park. But, an unusual theme park; one specifically for bugs . . . I give you . . . Blueprint For Gecko-Land Fantasy Horror Theme Park For Bugs. 

And . . . that’s it

Some of these posts will likely be longer as the mood hits me, but most will be thus; short, uninteresting, bland, and relentless.

You can read about Project 313 HERE.

That’s it. This post has ended . . . except for the stuff below.

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