Project 313 – Post No. 079

Another Sunday and thus nothing heavy duty . . . 

A tall order given all the heavy duty stuff going on, but I’m game. Let’s talk about . . . 

Nope; got nothing. I’ll have to bore you with yet another piece of flash fiction from some years ago . . . This was written at work during lunch. The inspiration was exactly what I described. In many places, the doors to the restrooms in public places face each other and while it’s never happened to me, I have to imagine two people exiting at exactly the same time might find it a bit awkward.

Movement Propels Destiny

By E. J. D’Alise (Disperser)
Copyright February 2013

Julie opens the door at the same time Larry opens the door on the opposite side of the small recess; the door labeled “Men”.  They both stop on their track, standing on the threshold, and holding their respective restroom doors open.  They stare at each other, each a mirror image of the other, in pose and expression.

Wow, she’s gorgeous!” Larry’s thought interferes with his ability to speak, and he just stands there.

Julie’s heartbeat kicks up a tick or two as she stares at the handsome young man staring back at her.  “Say something, you fool!”  Her thought motivates her to speak.

“Uh, hi . . .”  She mentally smacks her forehead.  “Smooth,” she thinks, “real smooth!

Trying to recover, she continues . . . “No. 1 or No. 2?”  Even as the words leave her mouth, she starts to blush.  ”OH MY GOD!!  WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!?”  Where had that come from?

Larry, still intent on imagining their future children, answers automatically.  “No. 2, and then some!”  ”OH MY GOD!!”  His occupied mind hears the echo of the words a split second after he says them, and snaps him back to the present.  ”WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?”

Julie is surprised . . . maybe she should be shocked, but she’s unsure if that’s his sense of humor coming through.  Better play it safe . . . “Yeah, I know what you mean!  I feel like I just lost five pounds!”

They stand there, still looking at each other, not knowing how to proceed.

The man who had been patiently standing there, waiting to get into the restroom, finally speaks.

“When you tell your children how you met, make it a less crappy place; maybe a pizza joint.”

Julie and Larry both turn to him, and he looks at each of them in turn.  Finally, it hits them.  All three break out in loud and uncontrollable laughter.

After thirty seconds or so, finally composed, Larry steps aside, letting the man pass.  Then he and Julie decide to go grab a coffee at the shop nearby.

Thirty-five years later, holding their granddaughter’s hands, they would point to the coffee shop explaining to her that’s where they met.  But both also would glance at the restroom alcove, then at each other, and crack a smile.

The End

For some reason, this story got a lot of views and comments. Well, not that many; in fact, nowhere near the most popular of my fiction post.

That would be The Manor Above at 99-lifetime views (I got a bump from another site). That’s followed by Lester Dent Pulp Fiction offering at 96 views. Then Future Graveyard at 90. 

In case anyone thinks that’s a large number of views, I’ve had a total of 134,821 views so 99 views is 0.07%. In contrast, my most popular post has 3,738 views.

Mind you, I’m not complaining. I say that so readers don’t go all supportive on me. If you’re still thinking about it, please don’t. 

Anyway, WordPress doesn’t give numbers for posts that get fewer than 50-lifetime views. Perhaps the story above got 49 views.

And now, the photo:

Project 313 079

I’ll probably have a few other versions of that photo. I happen to like the coloring of the trunks and, no, that’s not the natural coloring.

Joe Martin is quite the philosopher . . . check the last panel of the cartoon below. 

As an aside, we’ve yet to find a pizza we like here on the Island. Consequently, no pizza for us for a long while now. 

I often accompany Melisa when she goes to quilt shops because I like the fabric colors and designs. Good stuff for future inspiration. 

Most of the shop owners don’t mind, but many have rules against photography. Something about the designs being copyrighted. Personally, I think they’re a bit full of themselves. I mean, yes, I suppose someone could steal a design just from a photo. On the other hand, these aren’t exactly the Mona Lisas of Quilts. Regardless, I always ask and if they say no, I don’t snap photos. BUT . . . were I actually trying to steal a design, I could easily photograph everything in these stores without them being the wiser for it. 

Besides, you have to be a pretty good quilter to steal a design from a photo . . . and if you’re that good a quilter, you’ll want to concentrate on your own designs as opposed to stealing others. I could be wrong . . . maybe quilters have no personal ambition and live for stealing other people’s work. 

Also, how tough is it to come up with a design? Here’s one I whipped up. I call it . . . Gecko Family Reunion Group Quilt

Gecko Family Reunion Group Quilt

And . . . that’s it

Some of these posts will likely be longer as the mood hits me, but most will be thus; short, uninteresting, bland, and relentless.

You can read about Project 313 HERE.

That’s it. This post has ended . . . except for the stuff below.

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Note: if you are not reading this blog post at DisperserTracks.com, know that it has been copied without permission, and likely is being used by someone with nefarious intention, like attracting you to a malware-infested website.  Could be they also torture small mammals.

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Please, if you are considering bestowing me recognition beyond commenting below, refrain from doing so.  I will decline blogger-to-blogger awards.   I appreciate the intent behind it, but I prefer a comment thanking me for turning you away from a life of crime, religion, or making you a better person in some other way.  That would mean something to me.

If you wish to know more, please read below.

About awards: Blogger Awards
About “likes”:   Of “Likes”, Subscriptions, and Stuff

Note: to those who may click on “like”, or rate the post; if you do not hear from me, know that I am sincerely appreciative, and I thank you for noticing what I do.

. . .  my FP ward  . . . chieken shit.

Finally, if you interpret anything on this blog as me asking or wanting pity, sympathy, or complaining about my life, or asking for help and advice, know you’re likely missing my subtle mix of irony, sarcasm, and humor.

About disperser

Odd guy with odd views living an odd life during odd times.
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14 Responses to Project 313 – Post No. 079

  1. paolsoren says:

    So, in the Gecko Family Reunion Group Quilt, who is the guy in the top, middle with the fat nose and the wrinkled eye brows? I know he has three identical mates on both sides and upside down at the bottom. But what’s he doing hanging with eight geckoes?

    Like

  2. macquie says:

    Nice short story. Do you sometimes draw book illustrations for your story?

    Like

  3. Another well-written, funny, sweet, enjoyable story, Emilio!!!

    PHOTO: You made them look magical!
    CARTOON: These made me snort-laugh! Especially the Jaws of Life one!
    DOODLE! Coolio! I would buy such a quilt and get in on the Gecko family fun!

    HUGS!!! :-)

    Like

    • disperser says:

      Thank you, Carolyn.

      Scatological humor always hits the spot, I’ve found.

      Thank you for the other observations as well . . . don’t know that I’ll sell the rights to that quilt since the geckos didn’t want to sign the release forms.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Modest little chappie aren’t you? Actually raised a slight smile at a couple of the cartoons, but don’t push your luck.
    Had you given any thought to using a goanna instead of those piddling little geckos? Now there’s a decent lizard can grow up to 2 metres, and scare even snakes

    Like

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