Another flash fiction challenge from Chuck Wendig. As some might recall, one of his previous challenges resulted in a short story I’m shopping around (already got one rejection, so I’m stoked).
This time, the challenge is for a piece of Flash Fiction no more than 100 words in length.
I want you to write a story in five sentences. No more than 100 words.
You can view it, if you’d like, as:
Sentence 1: Beginning / Inciting Incident
Sentence 2: Middle
Sentence 3: Middle peak, act turn or pivot
Sentence 4: Climactic turn or twist
Sentence 5: Resolution
That is not a strict map, but rather, a reminder that a story is a story, not a snapshot: it has a beginning, a middle and an end.
That is something that can be difficult in a flash fiction piece, having all components of a story.
I don’t know if I succeeded, but . . .
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The Pen
Copyright 2016 – E. J. D’Alise
I looked all over. I checked the car, even under the sofa cushions. My favorite pen was gone.
I stood there, looking around. The glass Jeb had used sat there, by the notepad.
Grabbing the baseball bat sitting by the door, I ran out. Jeb turned the corner up ahead.
Running, I followed him. There he was, squatting in front of a homeless man. His hand extended, he offered my pen to the man.
I stopped. The man’s face beamed and started drawing on a well-worn notebook. I turned and left. The pen was better off where it was.
The End
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Excluding the title, copyright, and ‘The End’, that is 99 words. Let me know if I managed to present a story per the requirements. Regardless, not bad for fifteen minutes worth, even if I’m the only one saying it.
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Cruisers Update IX:
Continuing with my late reporting on the June 14, 2015, Tri-Lakes Vintage Car show.
First up, a 1933 Dodge DP Convertible Coupe.
By the way, there is a SmugMug Gallery (HERE) for this, past, and future posts about this show. Also, you can click on the photos to open a larger version in a separate tab or window. Go ahead; try it.
I’m going to quickly go through the cars because I’m tired, lots of stuff is occupying my mind, and my eyes are still bothering me from having been dilated this afternoon (they check out; no cataract, no glaucoma, still brown).
Next up a 1967 Chevrolet Corvette Roadster.
A neat, but probably not the original paint job.
And here’s a 1972 Chevrolet Chevelle. Like many other cars, painted red.
At a casual glance, this next car looked like a Jaguar E-Type . . .
I assume car connoisseurs will recognize it instead as a 1970 Marcos 3000GT.
Next up, a 1932 Ford 3-Window and a 1932 Ford Pick-Up.
Wow . . . 1932 engines were more advanced than I imagined . . . as were the tires.
Next up, a car beloved by people professing to be in love with feeling as if their asses dragged just a few inches above the pavement . . . which they are if driving this 1970 MG MGB. Very clever naming, that.
Honest, I never got the fascination with pseudo-toy cars. Heck, at my age I don’t think I could crank the pedals fast enough.
I had to be careful as I walked around both the MG and this next car, the Austin Healey 3000 MkII lest the drool from mostly older drooling spectators ruined my shoes.
Me? I would prefer driving the 1956 Ford Fairlane Sunliner . . . even though it is a Ford.
Heck, I’d even prefer either of these next two beauties.
A 1933 McCormick Farmall H Tractor (International Harvester) and a 1938 Chevy Firetruck.
And now, we come to my favorite vehicle of the whole show . . . a 1962 Chevrolet Corvair Greenbrier Sportwagon.
I had never seen or even heard of this vehicle before that day, but I could see the utility of it . . . can you imagine how many snacks we could take on our drives?
I did not catch the name of this next car . . . my bad. I would say it’s either a Ford or a Chevrolet.
This next one I could work out . . . a 1963 Ford Falcon.
And it sat next to a 1958 Chevrolet Corvette.
OK, we’re nearing the end . . .
Here is a 1970 Plymouth Road Runner . . .
And a 1971 Ford Turbo Cobra . . .
This post concludes the photos of individual cars, but are we done? Noooo!
Next up, all the macro shots. We have emblems, logos, lights, handles, engines . . . you name it, and it’s coming up.
Until next time . . .
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. . . my FP ward . . . chieken shit.
I reckon you passed; good little yarn covers everything!
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Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say.
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Cool story. Not sure what you where planning to do with a baseball bat though….was just a pen…geezz! Love the MG, but the one my mother wanted was older….Chitty Chitty Bang Bang comes to mind! Being surfers and all the Chevie Sportswagon takes the cake as far as I am concerned…but you would need a good piece of gum and dental floss to keep that old bird humming I reckon!
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Thanks . . . as for the baseball bat, that’s poetic license. I would have grabbed my machete. Also, see story below.
The Sportswagon was there with its one and original owner, and unlike the other cars, it looked as if this saw regular use.
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Lovely! I guess the two of them have a deep and meaningful understanding..my husband used to drive with one ear on the engine of his old van. He would pick up the tiniest changes, almost anticipating something before it became an issue. An old van is a special thing, especially when it is full of boards and parked at your favourite point break!
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Is it a Mercury Comet? It looks like my dad’s car right down to the color. And it wasn’t a convertible.
I did enjoy the flash piece, too. Well done.
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Thank you, and it could be. I thought I had made it a point of shooting all the names tags, but I obviously missed a few.
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That is a good story. The only question I had was about the baseball bat….. thought you were going to hit someone with it, maybe Jeb, whoever Jeb might be. So it was a bit of a distraction, although by the end of the piece, all the pieces were neatly resolved, and I liked it.
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The baseball bat was there to primarily heighten the conflict/tension and bring more impact to the resolution (giving up a pen is not much of an effort for most readers and I wanted to emphasize it was for this character) . . . although, as I said above, I would have grabbed something more lethal.
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For them who wonder about the baseball bat . . . I love pens. I care about pens. I think everyone should have a nice pen , , , just not mine.
Four years ago I wrote another flash piece (some of you might remember it):
A Figure in the Distance
Copyright 2012 – E. J. D’Alise
Out walking, I see him. Too far to see his soulless eyes, his pallid complexion, his humorless features, but I know it’s him. He is back in town; my town.
I consider taking a shot, but the distance is too great for my snub-nosed .357.
No hurry; I will find him. I will hunt him down like the animal he is, and reclaim the pen he stole from me.
My name? My name is Justice. My name is Vengeance.
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OH! I love your story! 🙂 It tugged at my heart. What a great challenge! You conquered the challenge, Emilio! 🙂
I’d like a ride in all of those vehicles! As you might remember, I especially love Corvettes! 🙂
HUGS and Happy Whee-kend to you and Melisa!!! 🙂
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Thank you. Very nice of you to say.
And thanks for the wishes, and sending some right back your way.
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You’re welcome. And it was very nice of you to say, “Thank you. Very nice of you to say.” 😛
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Thank you, and it’s very nice of you to say that it’s very nice of me to say that it’s very nice of you to say.
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You’re welcome. And it’s very nice of you to say that it was very nice of me to say that it was very nice of you to say.
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Ditto.
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HA! Snort! 😀
Good response! As one of 8 kids I could do this all night long! 😛 But, I’ll let “Ditto” end it! 😀
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As King of the anal retentives and afflicted with a mild case of OCD, I could do this until my fingers bleed and my bladder explodes . . . I’m guessing 12 minutes.
Thanks for letting me off the hook.
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Ha! 😀
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I enjoyed The Pen but not A Figure in the Distance. You sure took a lot of photos at that car show! How many cars were there at the show?
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Thank you (and sorry about AFitD – as a humor piece, it ranks as one of my favorites).
As for cars . . . did not count them, but based on the photos (and I did not shoot all the cars I saw) I would guess somewhere around 100. But, again, I did not count them.
I shot 732 photos, although a lot of those are macros and wide shots. I also snapped a bunch with the phone (but the photos on these posts are all from the Nikon).
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On the nail with the flash! I was lucky enough to spin around in a MGB GT for a bout 6 months and I worked on a good few at my stint a garage. I even had a private client, who along with a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow (painted gold) had a Healey…I spent hours on that car, mostly test driving it!
Mind you I share your love of vans, I’m eying up a Uaz 452 as a replacement for our van and car.
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Thank you.
I’ve never driven tiny cars, but I did drive one Rolls when we were doing tests and looking at independent rear suspensions sometime back in the 70s as part of working on the Allante program (I think). I was impressed . . . it was a bit like driving while sitting on a sofa, but in a good way. I remember the engine was very quiet.
As for the Uaz . . . quite the utilitarian vehicle. Seems like you could go through just about anything with it. Good luck in your search.
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Sandra pretty much captured what I wanted to say about your very short story. Nicely done, E!
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