My mind is filled with so many things . . . NaNoWriMo, submitting my stories, writing new stories, my dismal view of humanity in general and King Sooper shoppers in particular.
Now, on top of it all, I need to think of a photo for the November calendar. I feel like banging my head on a rock.
Say! . . . rocks; that could work.
So, I went back a few years and our visit to Monument Lake. There be rocks there.
I know, they look plain, as if wanting to be shown in B&W.
Whoa! That’s a bit much, Bob. Can you scale it back a bit?
Nice. Almost looks as if it should be a painting.
. . . uh . . . I meant a color painting . . .
Oh . . . how about this?
Look, do we be having any other rocks? I don’t think this is working out, Bob.
How about these?
Interesting, but kind of plain.
OK, how about I kick it up a notch or two?
I sort of had a more simple scene in mind.
Why didn’t you say so?
That’s it, but do you have a shot in landscape orientation? It works well for the calendar.
Okely Dokely . . .
Now, can we turn that into a painting-like offering?
Well, I don’t have a painting program, but I can maybe fake it.
OK, now take that and plop it in the November calendar.
Here’s the calendar.
Right-Hand Click anywhere on the pictures, and Choose “Save Link As . . . “.
Note that clicking “Save Image” will download the resampled image (640×954, 72dpi) WordPress created for the post. Suitable for viewing on the screen, but not suitable for printing.
“Save link as” downloads the native size of 11×17, 300dpi, but can be printed smaller. Printing larger may have mixed results depending on how knowledgeable you are.
Of course, saving is not required . . . one can just ignore the post. If you are adventuresome, and it does not work, let me know, and I’ll try to fix whatever WordPress screwed up.
Disclaimers: I do not guarantee the accuracy of the calendar. My general understanding of time is limited to it being (mostly) an arbitrary demarcation of the unidirectional flow of existence. Many instances in my life demonstrated to me the disconnect between any hard measure of intervals of time and the perception of said time intervals.
So, I was in King Sooper today, and I purchased one item. I’m heading to the express lane (15 item limit). I’m about to enter the lane (there was one customer ahead of me). A late-twenties couple was coming along the crossing aisle, and I politely stopped to let them go past before entering the express lane. They stop right in front of me and look at the sign. It says “15 Items Limit” written in large letters. The man looks at their full cart and says something to the wife. She shrugs, and they turn the car and enter the express lane. But not before looking back at me and my one item. I must have been invisible, or they were assholes because they did not seem concerned about 1) going into the fast lane with what was obviously a lot more than 15 items, and 2) they did not have the common decency to let me go ahead of them. I’m going with assholes, especially since they both took out their phones and nonchalantly started checking their asshole ratings.
I wanted to say something, really I did. But, it would have risked an altercation because few people are pleased hearing themselves called regressive monkey ass droppings. Not that I have any qualms about offending regressive monkey asses droppings, but I avoid confrontations unless absolutely necessary since I normally carry and was in this instance. The last thing I want is some regressive monkey ass dropping getting all belligerent and shit (pardon the language).
I moved to the other express lane which had three people ahead of me . . . each with a few items. By the time I checked out the poor cashier in the other lane was trying to handle bagging what turned out to be at least seven stuffed plastic bags and do so with a small counter space designed for, you guessed it, at most 15 items.
Really, I wish stores would enforce those signs, or at least modify them to read something like “15 Items Limit Unless You Are A Regressive Monkey Ass Dropping”.
Remember, you don’t have to use the calendar portion . . . you can cut out the bottom part, and you have a picture to hang on your wall.
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. . . my FP ward . . . chieken shit.