Almost a cook

We ran errands this morning, so we did not get to the gym until after 9:00am.

A bad thing that, as more people were there than when we normally go. As my readers know, me+people=unhappy. Still, I managed to do my sets without cursing anyone out, and we headed home, getting back a bit after 11:00am.

Too late for breakfast, and near lunch . . . hmm . . . what to do? 

Readers might not know this, but I am not a cook. I can make pasta, rice, eggs, french toast, prepare a bowl of cereal, and the like. I’m standing there in front of the open fridge, and I’m looking at the leftover pasta with butter. Then I look at the eggs. 

What to do? If you ever find yourself in the same situation, grab the skillet, some olive oil, cut up some Canadian Bacon, and toss the pasta and bacon in the skillet.


As I sat there mixing the pasta and bacon on low heat, and listened to it beginning to sizzle, I had a thought . . . 



Well, you can’t have eggs without shredded mozzarella, salt, and some pepper.


I turned the heat slightly up, and started to blend the ingredients as they cooked.

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Once I was satisfied the eggs were done and cheese was melted, I poured the mixture into a plate.


Proud of myself for having invented a new dish, I called Melisa over to taste my creation, and have her share in the Disperser developed dish. She grabbed two pieces of pasta as I awaited her verdict (she’s the cook).

“That’s like pasta carbonara. It tastes good.”

The words hit me, and hit me hard! Here I thought I had come up with something original, but once again the curse of being born 100,000 years after the first humans strikes . . . pretty much anything one can think up has already been thunk up by people who came before. Bastards!

With a heavy heart, I sat and started in on my brunch (Melisa only tasted it, the rest was mine, and mine alone). . . you know what? As I ate it, I concluded that I don’t care; this was my dish, my idea. I’m still feeling proud about my brief moment as an experimenting cook. And the dish was damn tasty, too!

That’s it. This post has ended . . . except for the stuff below.


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About disperser

Odd guy with odd views living an odd life during odd times.
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8 Responses to Almost a cook

  1. Emily Heath says:

    I was just gonna say, reminds me of spaghett carbonara. Try with some pancetta next time :)


    • disperser says:

      I was thinking about that (or bacon), but it might overpower the flavor. I found this pretty well balanced in flavors.

      . . . besides, I’m not a cook . . .


  2. oneowner says:

    I was thinkin’ pasta carbonara, too, before I got to the part where Melisa mentions it. We also use pancetta or real bacon (not that stuff Canadians call bacon). I like the idea of improvising a dish out of scraps or leftovers. We do’t keep mozzarella in the house but we usually have Romano which would work well in this dish. When I made a similar dish, I did not add the egg or Romano until everything else was cooked or warmed up. Then I added a pre-scrambled raw egg and mixed it in. The heat from the dish cooks the egg perfectly. Then I add the Romano. If I have some cherry tomatoes, I cut them in half and add them last.
    Plain past with butter/olive oil is not an uncommon dish in this house, either. I might fry up some crushed garlic in oil and drizzle it on, too. Heaven on a plate.


    • disperser says:

      Sure! . . . everybody pre-stole my dish idea!

      Nice! Real Nice!

      Seriously, cherry tomatoes? My least favorite (Melisa’s favorite).

      However, you redeem yourself with the plain pasta with butter (my favorite) . . . even if you do occasionally ruin it with garlic.


  3. haydendlinder says:

    Bacon might over power it?! Ruin it with garlic?! What is wrong with you?


    • disperser says:

      Not sure how much of my writings you’ve read, but I am a simple person of simple tastes (but gifted with an extraordinary wife). Plus, I’m always right.

      I like bacon in eggs. I like a touch of garlic in some things. When we speak of pasta, adding much to it would be like someone trying to make the Mona Lisa better (I hear it’s a decent painting as is). A touch of butter and a touch of salt are almost too much . . .


      • haydendlinder says:

        Oh don’t get me started on the Mona Lisa. There has always been something just a little off about her smile. Yup.


  4. AnnMarie says:

    Um, that reminds me that mother has not made pasta alla carbonara in years . . . I’m off to remedy that immediately before she begins to cook something else for lunch!

    P.S. I totally enjoyed all the comments. Needless to say, the photos and narrative took top billing.


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