150 Word Story

Earlier today I served as Beta Reader for a honest-to-goodness writer. Yes, a published AND award-winning writer.

I’m not joking; she put out a call for fast Beta Readers as she had a 150 words science fiction story to put out today. I got to read it and comment on it. No, I will not drop names, as I have no personal contact with the writer; I was just a name that happen to answer the call. 

I liked the story, and made a couple of comments (difficult without knowing the context of the project).

BUT . . . it got me thinking about writing my own 150 word story (the exact number of words in the story below). I had a few minutes before dinner, and . . . 

My 150 Word Story

Copyright E. J. D’Alise, 2014

BJ tracked the target, waiting for it to get clear of the sapling between them.

He froze when it looked like the motion attracted the rabbit’s attention. Holding motionless, BJ even stopped breathing. Those ears were not just for show; even downwind, they’d pick up the slightest noise.

False alarm.

He kept the crosshairs on the rabbit’s chest until he had a shot. He fired, but before he could enjoy thoughts of tasty rabbit stew, he shielded his eyes as the rabbit literally exploded.

A mechanized leg landed not three feet from him.

Another government spy drone!

Getting up, he walked over to the remnants of the robot. He kicked it, his anger somewhat abating with the release of frustration.

“It’s getting harder and harder to find real game, what with all these spy robots around!”

His words were picked up by the high-gain microphone on the squirrel above him.

The End

I wrote and edited it in about 20 minutes (having to cut 27 words from it), and since I don’t have Beta Readers, I’m just asking for opinions of them who pass by and chance upon this. My thanks to them who do.

No, no one is going to publish it, use it, or otherwise pay me for it.

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