Apparently, I am annoying on a number of levels, and for many reasons. Something which annoys others to no end, and it has mystified me as to why it is so, is my propensity to spin stuff. I like to spin coins, rings, and anything which looks like it can be spun.
Better yet, I like to spin noisy stuff. I like spinning noise. I love the repetitive sound of something spinning. I love it in a way that no one around me does.
One of my most joyful moments was the decision to replace our old tiled counters with granite. Mind you, the actual day that it happened sucked beyond belief because of other reasons, but that particular detail, the installation of a perfectly smooth surface, was a very bright silver lining in a very dark day.
We went from having a surface that was less than useless for spinning, to practically the best surface one can have. My wife was less than thrilled, but she wanted granite, so . . . we come to this.
Today Melisa went away with a friend for a few hours, and I finally got to spin to my heart’s content. So much so, that I documented it . . . make sure you crank up the volume as you watch these movies, as that’s the best part. I am presenting each individually, but there is one glorious compilation at the end.
First up . . . the glasses. By that I mean drinking glasses. There really is only one type of glass I like to spin, but for the sake of science, I’ll go through the spectrum of available glasses. Except our Waterford glasses . . . I have a feeling they would spin something fierce, but should anything happen to one of them, I would be in serious trouble . . . mind you, I was tempted, but I turned yellow at the last moment.
First up . . . a plastic glass:
It has a wide bottom, and very low mass, two qualities which make its Spinnability Quotient very low.
We do have a few different types of glass drinking glasses, but two out of the three are poor spinners because they have features which encroach on the bottom surface (the spinning surface).
But, we also have these beauties . . .
I really like spinning them, but have to do it out of Melisa’s earshot.
My preferred item to spin are the glass lids to our Corel baking dishes, and these are difficult to spin out of earshot; they make a lot of noise. There are three sizes . . .
First up, the large. Listen to the sound, and you can hear an imperfection in the surface. I believe were it not there, this might have been the winner.
Here is the medium lid . . . hear how much better it sounds, but still not perfect.
And here is the small . . . this sounds great to my tired ears.
Next to glass lids, I like glass mixing bowls. These are pretty etched, and we now have newer ones which are practically impossible to spin, and made out of some kind of sound deadening plastic . . . I’m pretty sure they were purchased with me in mind.
First up, a ceramic mixing bowl . . .
Then we go to the glass bowls. The small glass mixing bowl . . .
The medium glass mixing bowl . . .
The large glass mixing bowl . . .
Of course, Melisa is not always baking and stuff . . . so I try and make do with the occasional small serving or cereal bowl.
For instance, the small glass bowl . . .
Here is a stoneware bowl. It’s made in China, and has very poor balance (although it sounds neat when you tap it with a plastic spoon – go figure).
And here is a French-made porcelain bowl . . . the levels of sounds out of this thing are great . . . remember to crank up the volume.
The least favorite, but included here for kicks, is this large aluminum bowl . . .
I also like to spin tall objects, mostly because they can go unstable long after you think they are OK. Such as, for instance, this empty bottle.
Edited to Add: The original video (with the Pellegrino name on the bottle) has been replaced with these videos. It’s the same bottle, but with the labels removed so YouTube won’t have a cow.
Here are the new spinning bottles videos . . .
It really was not a fair contest. The small glass lid won hands down, and here it is again, up-close and personal.
For them who want to immerse themselves in the experience, here is the compilation of all the videos . . .
Edited to Add: Because I reshot the bottle video, I had to update the compilation as well.
Here is the new one.
Understand that in part I did this because whenever I need a fix, and although it will not be as satisfying as actual spinning, I can put on one of the above videos, don my headset, and listen to the glorious sound of spinning without disturbing anyone.
By the way, for them who be interested, here was the set-up.
I realize the videos are not as good as they should be, but I don’t take videos all that often, and after trying for over an hour to get better quality videos, I finally gave up, and went with the above. Someday, if I continue taking videos, I will have to learn how to do a good job of it. But not today.
If you enjoyed this moment, found it profoundly engrossing, or learned something, feel free to share it so others can take it out for a spin. However, if you hated the whole thing, were bored beyond belief, and consider it a waste of time . . . why, then, it’s the perfect thing to forward to people you do not like! It will serve them right!
Astute persons might have noticed these doodles, and correctly surmised they hold some significance for me, and perhaps for humanity at large. If said astute person is curious about them, click on it for an explanation of their origin.
WordPress is still screwing around with trying to be a class operation. As such, while they busily work to add features and themes I will never use, they are remiss in fixing problems like disappearing links. So, if you click on the doodle, and nothing happens, this is the link it’s supposed to go to: https://disperser.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/palm-vx-and-i/. Note . . . there is no guarantee WordPress will keep this as a link, but at least you can copy it and paste it on a browser’s address field.
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Should you still nominate me, I will strongly suspect you pulled my name at random, and that you are not, in fact, a reader of my blog. If you wish to know more, please read below.
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. . . my FP ward . . . chieken shit.