I am a peculiar sort . . . “%$#&@ weird” is more how I am often described. I live by my own unwritten (and weird) rules; rules which govern nearly all I do.
Today a person whose blog I follow (Sarah Takes Pictures) was Freshly Pressed. It is a considerable honor for us unknown bloggers. WordPress features the chosen blog in their home page. Huge exposure for Sarah, and rightly deserved, for she does great work.
And it got me worried . . .
It had not occurred to me being Freshly Pressed is independent of the wishes of the author, but it is. Someone, or a group of someones, at WordPress comes across a post they like, and BAAMM! . . . you are Freshly Pressed.
Not to give myself airs, but there is a chance, a small chance, someone will like something I do, and all of the sudden I too might be Freshly Pressed. As I said, great honor, great exposure, maybe even deserved . . . it would help tremendously the circulation of my blog.
. . . except for this character flaw of mine.
I don’t particularly like to be helped. Anyone who knows me might already know the truth of this, but I never ask for help. I don’t ask for breaks, deals, free stuff, etc. etc. Mind you, I will accept stuff that is available to everyone, but if someone is going to give a break specifically to me, and not others, then I have a problem with that.
It used to drive salesmen nuts when I would ask them the price of something, they would tell me, I would politely say “no thanks”, and they would counter with an offer . . . only to be told I don’t like that. No deal for me, thank you, because I know for me to get a deal someone will have to pay more. Were that not the case, the price would be fixed, and I would not have to “negotiate”. No one would have to negotiate.
The character flaw, you see, is that I do not like “special treatment” . . . not when I see it applied to others, and not for myself.
“Yeah, but . . . ” you say “this is not special treatment. It’s a recognition of the quality of your work. It’s what you are working to. It’s what you want, for FSM sake!!“
Well, yes . . . but there is a side effect to this character flaw, and it applies here. I like succeeding on my own; I like making it without help, even as I recognize the risk of perpetual obscurity.
I take pride on this contrarian approach to life, all the while admitting the stupidity of it. I am nearly at 10,000 views for this blog . . . sure, half of them are probably spammers, and another quarter are automated bots scanning the web for keywords and tags, but all those came to my site strictly through my efforts.
That remaining quarter? They came, they saw, and some are returning of their own volition. That means something to me. There is a personal connection there, however tenuous and probably fleeting. I do hope someday to be recognized by a large number of people as offering some value, but I want that to happen through the addition of individuals chancing on my site, liking it, and slowly adding to the numbers who choose to visit again as regulars. I want circulation to grow by word of mouth.
I want to stress I am human . . . if I were to be Freshly Pressed I would feel proud, validated, etc. etc. . . . but I do not like that small measure of control being taken from me. I do not like the spotlight shined on me so that people can find me. I prefer, however stupidly, to wallow in the shallow mud and occasionally be recognized as having a bit of sparkle.
So, how do I control this . . . I checked the Freshly Pressed site . . . your chances are greatly helped if you use only nice words, words are spelled correctly, and you have pictures.
I can’t give up pictures, but . . .
Thanks for stopping by to read my stuff.
. . . and the new regulalr addition to my sign-off . . . chieken shit.
Note: to those who may click on “like”, or rate the post; if you do not personally hear from me, know that I am sincerely appreciative, and I thank you for noticing what I do.